When people talk about success online, it often looks a certain way:
- 6 to 7 figure income a year đ¤
- 5+ bedroom home đĄ
- Owning a selection of Teslas, Audis, Porsches đđ¨
- Travelling often to Maui, Santorini, Dubai đŤ
- Eating at Michelin star restaurants đ˝ď¸
- A walk-in closet full of items from Louis Vuitton, Coach, Saint Laurent catalogues đ
Lifestyle influencers (and maybe a few too many coaches) often show you their glamorous lifestyle, claiming that you can have the same life if you just use these 5 tools, do these 3 things, download their free 14 page guide.
but is that the kind of success you want? or is that the success society says you should want?
Iâve been working as a freelancer for all kinds of clients for a few years, and in that time Iâve realized that the idea of success is super individual.
Everyoneâs idea of success is different, and it always depends on where they are in life, what their goals are, and what their values and ethics are.
If youâre neurodivergent and/or chronically ill, the idea of success is even more variable.
For me, success is doing work that I love. Work thatâs satisfying, interesting, and makes an impact for others. Success is being able to have more fun and pleasure than I used to have growing up.
True to my Libran sun, I love me some softness and luxury đ đž and success for me means that my life has space for those things.
Iâm also a Sacral Generator in Human Design, so a successful life means (to me) that I have the space to chase those sparkly things that light me up.
Your version of success might look like living in a male-free commune with your best pals, baking bread, rearing chickens and tending to a small farm.
Maybe success for you is having a career you love, a healthy partnership, and feeling mentally and physically healthy.
Maybe you just wanna feel calm and content with wherever you are in life!
itâs so easy to feel like success looks like a 7 figure income when itâs being pushed in your face on social media all the time
Worse, it feels like where you are right now is as a failure because you donât have that 7 figure income.
Itâs even worse than that for me as a neurodivergent person, that I hear that I donât want success bad enough if I donât want societyâs version of success!
One thing I try to remind myself often is that Iâm not a machine. Iâm a human being and weâre each unique.
We all have different motivations, values, access to resources, and that means success for each of us would vary!
And thank God for that, honestly.
Can you imagine what the world would look like if we were all influencers selling 3 step guides on how to get rich? đ
unsure of what success looks like to you?
I feel you, bestie.
Hereâs the tea đŤ
Figuring out your version of success is gonna require you to challenge your existing beliefs, and to be honest with yourself about what you need, want and what your values are.
This isnât a quick fix process â itâs going to take a lot of time, and there are times where youâre gonna be SICK of doin this shit. Hold on, take breaks, keep going.
I believe in you!
challenge your existing beliefs
âI need to get married by 30 to be successfulâ
âI need to be booked out and busy to be successfulâ
You pickin up what Iâm puttin down, right? đ
If youâre aiming for a thing because â¨society⨠says you need this thing to be successful, then itâs a belief worth challenging and reframing.
If youâre aiming for a thing because you want it for yourself, then youâre on the right track đ
be honest with yourself about your needs, wants and values
Especially as women (worse if youâre culturally diverse, neurodivergent, and/or chronically ill, or otherwise not a man), itâs easy to downplay our needs and wants. You donât want to seem too shallow, too needy, too demanding, too loud, too whatever.
Bestie, hereâs your permission slip to be shallow, be needy, be demanding, be loud, and take up space!
You were put on this earth for pleasure and joy. Your needs and wants are valid and your divine right.
Is making enough money to buy a Telfar bag your idea of success because itâs a cute ass bag and itâll be your first purchase thatâs just for you? Own that shit!!
Donât be afraid to feel a bit delusional with what you want your success to look like. It only matters that itâs something you want for yourself and not something you think you should want.
at the end of the day, your life is yours. you should be living that life for yourself. your life shouldnât be one that youâre living for other people
I know it's hard because â¨society⨠and â¨capitalism⨠but honestly, societyâs version of success isnât even worth it if youâre just gonna hate living.
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